"I want to become a Satanist."

There, I've said it! I've now publicly uttered the words I've long suppressed. Let me say them again.

"I want to become a Satanist."

Note well: I am not yet saying, "I am a Satanist," or "I have become a Satanist." What I am indicating is intentionality and direction, not achievement. And since, by any reasonable measure, I haven't achieved Satanist status, I must acknowledge that I may not get there.

The questions I have to answer:

• What does becoming a Satanist mean to me?

• What are the steps I will take to bring me closer to becoming a Satanist?

• How will I measure my progress toward becoming a Satanist?

Note also that I am not using the term Satanism. There are many definitions and schools of Satanism and I do not pretend to have an understanding of them or to know where I might situate myself with respect to them. I'm tempted to say that I want to find "my own private Satanism" but what I actually want is simply to be able to publicly state, "I am a Satanist."